HOME BOUND

My joy knows no bounds today!! The last few days have been very stressful for me but today certainly the excitement of going home has taken over. Yes just 15 hrs for my flight now.....I M GOING HOME AFTER AN YEAR. Two weeks....TWO WEEKS I will be in my own world, with all my near and dear ones...in my sweet Silchar. No office...no bugs...no coding...no traffic...no tension. ..Huh..two weeks out of the confines of my hellish cubicle...far away from this mess.
Will come back with stories from Silchar......WISH U ALL A VERY HAPPY DURGA PUJA!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Busy May and a Lazy June

I have become very lazy and my laziness accounts for my disappearance from the blogosphere these days.

For me, It was a busy May and an equally lazy June. I had an exam in the office in April –May and given the bad times, I could not risk flunking. I gave my first attempt April last and tried all my luck rather than labour…….I wore my lucky dress, did my morning prayers with an extra bit of pseudo devotion, sat at the 7th system in the exam hall and etc etc. I was sure that I knew something of everything in the mammoth syllabus but in the exam, as I was running through the questions, I could not help feeling like Alice in Wonderland! Hoping against hope, I submitted with exactly seventeen minutes pending and kept praying till the result page loaded…..but alas ..there in front of my eyes were the most hated words “ You scored 55%. Better luck next time”. “Better labour” , I thought and started my preparations…No blogging, no reading novels, no freak outs. Studying after office hours, that also technical stuff, was maddening, I tell you, but somehow I had to. With all my crazy preparations, I attempted the assessment on last week of May and thankfully I cleared with a more than desired 83%.
I had become very worked up by then and so felt like taking a break…..Break for me this June meant doing nothing. Yes I had to go to office(no body was lenient enough to grant me leaves) but the workload was ok-ok types. I sneaked into a virtual slumber…yet again no blogging, no books, no outings. Mid june, I started reading the “KiteRunner “ and “The Autobiography of a Yogi” . Both the books are awesome but I had no mood to carry on beyond the first few pages. By this time my ma also had come to Bangalore and I was relived of the burden of cooking and other domestic chores. My laziness now had enough reasons to grow. Off late, I hated even walking….wished if the floor beneath would drift forward taking me along. Probably I was thinking just that when I was climbing down the stairs last week…..I am not sure if I had slipped or tripped but in a second I fell down in full public view..with everybody looking at me as if something very wonderful had happened. I badly sprained my foot and am still trying to limp back to normal.

Enough of being lazy….Hope to have a very vibrant and lovely July.

It's not a happy weekend...here I am working on a Saturday compensating for the holiday declared on the election day in Karnataka. It feels all the more sad sitting in front of the lifeless monitor and typing some dull code when the day is "Pochise Boisaakh"..the birth anniversary of Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore...the day which is so very special to me...so very auspicious for bengalis all over the world. I made my silent celebrations yesterday..all alone in my Bangalore home...reading out Gurudev's poetry..singing out his songs. Memories abound........i grew up with his creations...my childhood, my teenage,
my youth…. there was Rabindranath everywhere..in all my happiness..in all my pains. The more I read him..the more i know him...the more awestruck am I....
I miss the Rabindra jayanti celebrations back home....i miss the excitement of those endless rehearsals..i miss it all..

Would like to share with you all a bengali poem i wrote last pochise boisaakh.....i dont have the bangla fonts here..so using the english letters only..

Kobigurur proti

aamar dukkho betha bhoy bhabona kichui naai
jokhon tomar shurer jhornatole haariye jaai
jokhon edik odik baajte thake tomaar gaan
aadhar chire uthle hride aalor baan
shei aaloy aaloy bhaste thaki
aami tomaay bhalobaashte thaki
tomar kothar jadur kaathi..pagol kore praan


tomar shur tomar chhondo
taar poroshe je mor ki aanondo!!!
tomar bhasha tomar bhab
thakle hride...kisher obhab?
tomar shur baajle buke...aamar hoyna haashi mlaan
tomar kabbo,tomar kotha..pagol kore praan


tomar kothaay ek poloke
jaai bheshe kon kolpoloke
jetha soishob aamar, koishor aamar..aabar khuje paai
oshim tumi aanondomoy
pagol koro aamar hridoy
ami tomar shure chhonde kobi...miliye jete chai.


Feel like writing more on this day.....but am in a hurry..have my 6 oclock shuttle to catch. Its drizzling outside, as i see from my office window....Hope to have a beautiful musical evening..."Shubho Pochise Boisaakh"!!!!!!

Nobody writes letters these days..the world, it seems, has become far too fast paced. It is either the short emails , the quick orkut scraps or even the shorter and quicker sms........Its a 'e' world now..But when it comes to carrying 'e'motions..nothing can match the beauty of a conventional letter..afterall,it carries someone's handwriting..it carries the fragrance of someone's love........

I don't like writing poetry proselike but at times the music refuses to set in.........

A few torn pages of a laboratory notebook
And LOVE scribbled thereon
Defying distance they had reached me...seven years back.
Ah ! his bad handwriting ..was so good to read
And i had slept with it...all night long.

I treasure it still..
Yes, I open it still ..
Now, his love stares at me..with eyes tearful
A thousand questions these fainting words ask
Ah ! the splash of colors...A million memories they uncage
and i see the buds of joy bloom amidst pain!

Rebel these words are
Then they defied distance..now they defy time
As i cling on to that letter...
..And live his love all over again!!!!

An Ode to Poetry

an old poem..written years back. Have no mood and time to write this week and so felt like posting this.

O Poetry…a beauty you are
Matchless in your grace
I can sit back for hours long
Just gazing at your face.

You drag me down, you lift me high
You make me laugh, you make me cry..
You paint my wings in brightest hue
In strangest lands, U make me fly.

O Poetry, enchantress you are
In rhyme and rhythm clad.
With a veil of music over your hair
And a halo round your head.

With tearful eyes-as you I watch
You wipe my tears with loving touch
You inject peace to my troubled soul
You heal my wounds that pain so much.

Are you from the land of Gods?
Who brought you down to earth?
From whom you learnt this magic spell
That holds captive my heart???

The other day-when the night was dark
And stars and moon all gone
I saw you dance, O gorgeous maiden
With tinkling anklets on.

I heard you gurgle as the stream
I saw you sparkle bright…
I heard you murmer, I heard you whisper
In the woods all night.

And I saw you on the morning grass
As the dazzling dew
O lovely lady, in all your forms
I fall in love with you.

I fall in love a thousand times
So I can’t help but gaze
O poetry, a wonder you are
Matchless in your grace!!!!

The Pain of getting wiser !!!!

I never knew that I would teethe at this age!!! There at the end of my jaw line, angled away from all its existing counterparts…standing in its own unique style, is a cute innocuous looking tooth...my wisdom tooth. Yes I am definitely getting wiser and paying quite a heavy price for the same.
Now I know the pain tagged to wisdom and can loudly proclaim “IGNORANCE IS BLISS”. I started having the pain in my gums even when the tooth was not visible. I confused it for a gum infection and went to the dentist for a check up The dentist checked the interns of my mouth, hit all my teeth one by one, asked me all stupid questions ,and with all the happiness on earth, remarked “Congratulations, your wisdom teeth are coming up”. Down with the pain and already irritated with her incessant experimental hitting on all my teeth, I thought.."Congratulations to you rather, doctor, u definitely see some good money here and no wonder you look so happy about my pain”
The doctor gave me some painkillers and asked me to wait till the tooth comes up properly so that she can get it extracted. Days rolled on but the pain never abated..the crap painkillers provided some respite but only for an hour or two…by now my precious wisdom tooth had emerged out of my gums and had become even deadlier..soon my entire mouth got swollen... my ears , my head.. all started aching badly …the pain was so very throbbing that I could hardly open my mouth.. food, sleep, work….everything went for a toss…a small tooth was troubling me like hell…But despite all this, I was scared of going to the doctor and getting it extracted….i was somehow unwilling to part with my dear tooth (lest my wisdom disappears!!). It went like this for a month or so till the pain actually came down.. I am fine now but today morning only I could see another tooth emerging on the other side of my jaw line. And yes, thanks to my already existing wisdom tooth, I m definitely wise enough now to predict that painful times are not so far away!!!

FYI- In Korean, wisdom tooth is referred to as Sa-rang-nee which means love teeth referring to the young age and the pain of the first love

Happiness deceives

Now, this one is for Ramya…who is a kind of wise girl now with lots of lessons learned on marriage and ‘the right match’(http://ramyaal.blogspot.com/2009/03/wisdom-that-time-adds.html). Well, she desparately wants to fall in love……probably to escape the onslaught of marriage proposals and the weird guys involved. Dear Ramya and all of you who share Ramya’s woes and have somewhat become a rebel of sorts…this one is specially for you…love is beautiful,no doubt, but it certainly has an invisible price tag attached!!!

In my sunshine days….my tears rained
Life marched on and LOVE WANED
I dare not fall in love again
For I know..how bad it pained!!!!!!!!

I know the joys of first love
The ninth of may, the fifth of june
You feel like sailing in the sky
In the midst of stars and moon

O the time..O the joys
Happiness deceives, I must say
All the rosy dreams you weave
Leave you shattered end of day!!!

Yes..my pains have not healed as yet
And trust me , they never will
He haunts me in my dreams all night
Six years…and they hurt me still!!!

I HATE “LOVE”, for I’ve seen
All its colors end in haze
Love not if you wish to live
Cruel ..cruel.. is the maze.

Love and me? Naah.. not again
The greatest wisdom my heart has gained
I warn you against love dear all
For I know how bad it pained!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!