Sunday, December 2, 2007

The Music Of The Rains..................

The Music Of The Rains..................

Through the glass window of my office, I could see the drizzle gently fall. The day was cloudy from the morning itself but then in Bangalore, we have cloudy days at a stretch but unfortunately no rains. The Goddess of rains bears a somewhat step- motherly attitude towards this haven of techies. Being from the land of rains, hails and storms, I was really craving for some showers. And that July afternoon was a welcome change. My heart leaped with joy, much like that of a little child. I logged off from my system and went out to the balcony to have ‘my share of the rains’.

There was a celebration outside- Nature celebrating a strange, unknown joy. The light gentle drizzle soon gained in flair and it seemed to me that the raindrops were dancing down from the heavens with thousand anklets on. There was a dead silence around-nobody to be seen at the streets, the birds and animals all home and the techies all busy with their work as usual. There was a strange stagnation around but in the midst of it, one could see the divine dynamism of Nature. Only the sonorous sound of the rains filled the air up. NATURE, IT SEEMED, WAS AT ITS MUSICAL BEST. The slender plants tossed their heads in joy, the greens looked yet greener, the lovely flowers yet richer in colors as the raindrops rolled over. A new life was injected all around- it was, as if, a Midas touch!

I listened, I gazed, I stood silent and still. The memories of my childhood came floating to my mind. And soon, there was a hint of melancholy in the music. Yes I remember it all- those water puddles all along the streets, my running out in the rains and getting all drenched just for nothing, my innocent prayers to God for having floods so that I could go to my mamarbari(maternal uncle’s place), those cold rainy nights by my mother’s side and of course skipping schools due to rains……….Now, I can’t afford the luxury of taking a leave just because it’s raining. Now if I splash water from the puddles, I will be called uncivilized. Now I can’t leave my work and go to get drenched in the rains- people will simply laugh at me, call me crazy. Now I can’t sleep by mother’s side for I am far way. Soon, I had tears in my eyes- I was missing every bit of my world. I felt a strange emptiness, a biting lonliness within- the pain of being apart from my near and dear ones, away from my very own Silchar. Is this the life I craved for??? These days, I can afford to dine at the costliest of restaurants of the city but I can’t get the dal cooked by my dida(grandma). I can buy the best of dresses as and when I wish to but I really do miss the excitement of shopping before Durga Puja. I can hang out at the most posh joints but can it ever match the innocent joy of going to Gandhi Mela?? My Silchar with its broken roads, floods and load shedding is far sweeter a place than this strange place I currently live in. Honestly speaking, I have an identity crisis here. Nobody, except a few team mates in office and my roommates know me-never am I given a smile by my neighbour. I shuttle between office and home, slog for hours at my workplace, battle three hours of traffic each day, I eat, sleep, eagerly wait for the weekends---And that’s life for me.

I have changed. The Rains have not. As the droplets delightfully dance down, they carry the same beauty, the same music. I held back my tears and stood there gazing at the rains. It rained the whole afternoon that day and I did not work. But then, there was a lot pending at my desk and ultimately I slogged all evening compensating for my lost hours. After all, I have studied to become an engineer and the escape from this lucrative maze is not so easy!!!

Tanaya Choudhury